complete ignorance
Ig
norE
ance
don't exist
I
been a slave
through
waves
wires
miles and miles
of ideas.
no matter
don't bother
only with
compl
ete
ig
norE
nce
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Monday, March 5, 2007
Sunday, March 4, 2007
can you live your life without me -Garbage
I want so desperately to read something worth it. Not some misogynistic poor American-in-France pseudo-writer's work with an introduction that argues that he really wasn't a misogynist, but rather was abused why women. The author of the introduction supports this claim with an excerpt from the text, in which Miller or his protagonist refers to a character that was more misogynistic than he was as a "foetus". If I'd used supporting details like that in my most recent English class, you can bet I still would have gotten an A. But still is where my mind can't sit. All around me are the dancing jeering flashes of the undone, once they were negative, as I came. And still, it bothers me so how she mocks him. Through swigs of Fosters, she mocks him. And if you confront her, she says you simply do not understand. Pity Pity. But I guess I'm getting better at it. At not expressing. Plastic tree chunk woman. Wouldn't they love you. If you were beautiful like them. And all the while. Drugs unspoken yet spoke above. Between girls of young in, not only public places, but their own places of employment. Once again, the world does not give a fuck. Once again, I feel shitty. Once again, I will not say. While the whole dilapidated skulduggeried earth rots its fucking green pasture exterior away. I used to believe in dates, in the power of time, but fortunately or unfortunately, my concept of time is something that I've lost. Or maybe I realized that it wasn't real, constructed, and through this realization, I just don't give a fuck. I hardly understand why I am so nervous. Unable to concentrate. Diagnose me with Adult ADHD and pop me full of Ritalin. Or better yet, Adder all. Percocets. Oxycontin. Cocaine. Gallons and gallons of cheap alcohol. And all else that is pain-numbing, reality-killing. All else that is a facade. The same name as that club in Nyack where the loose women and even looser men congregate to get off so that they can't get on the train of reality. I would like to obtain a copy of No Exit and reread it with my twenty-one year old mental prowess. haha. mental prowess. I just proved myself wrong, as I'm sure that is the incorrect usage of the that phrase. I'm sick of being paranoid. Of keeping myself up nights. Of Working the life out of myself and having to pretend that everything is o fucking kay. When it isn't. It isn't at all.
Monday, February 5, 2007
saying I
why
the black line
on a bad time
malificent's
multiple
mongers
network down
I dialed up
to you
until
near far
approaching death
and all those
haunting ghosts
but
no translucence
unto you
black's fading
another life
I's born
into
and still I sit
and lie and
call love love
and melting up unto
the very sight
and still I could not see
can not
and blind
is sorry
why
the black line
on a bad time
malificent's
multiple
mongers
network down
I dialed up
to you
until
near far
approaching death
and all those
haunting ghosts
but
no translucence
unto you
black's fading
another life
I's born
into
and still I sit
and lie and
call love love
and melting up unto
the very sight
and still I could not see
can not
and blind
is sorry
Friday, November 24, 2006
Irrevocable Changes Through Oates and Erdrich
Throughout life people go through many changes, some which affect them more greatly than others. In the short stories, "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?", by Joyce Carol Oates, and "The Red Convertible", by Louise Erdrich, the characters of Connie and Henry are dynamic in that they go undergo changes that affect their lives so irrevocably that they will never again be the same. A catalyst induces the changes in both characters and neither change has a positive affect on the character's life.
Prior to the changes, both characters are more naive and innocent about the world around them. During the introduction of "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?", Connie is portrayed as "fifteen and she had a quick nervous giggling habit of craning her neck to glance into mirrors." She also fights with her mother constantly and has begun to fool around with boys. Connie is a normal American girl on the brink of her adolescence. During the introduction of "The Red Convertible", Henry is also portrayed as naive and innocent. He buys a car with his brother, Lyman, and they go on a road-trip that lasts the entire summer. During the end of the road trip, when they are with Susy, a girl with whom they had been staying in Alaska after picking her up somewhere in the Midwest and driving her all the way home, Susy lets her long hair out and Henry puts her on his shoulders and spins her around, saying, "I always wondered what it was like to have long hair." Clearly, Henry is fun loving, carefree and spontaneous.
In both stories there is the presence of a catalyst, which induces the negative changes in the characters. In "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" the catalyst is the character of Arnold Friend, who drives his golden jalopy to Connie’s house one Sunday when her parents are not home to try and convince her to come for a ride with him. The character of Arnold Friend represents the "demonic lover", in that he has supernatural powers that make him irresistible to Connie. He is demonic in that he possesses the telepathic ability to view the activities of her family members at the barbeque they were attending at her aunt ’s house, along with the fact that his foot doesn’t fit properly into his boot, making it appear stuffed, which represents the cloven foot of the devil. For Henry, in "The Red Convertible", the catalyst is the Vietnam War. After Henry and Lyman come home from Alaska, Henry is called upon to serve in the Army, for which he had previously "signed up". Before long he is stationed in Vietnam where he soon becomes a Prisoner of War.
As a result of the change that was induced by the catalyst, both Connie and Henry’s lives are negatively and irrevocably affected. For Connie, the change starts to occur while Arnold Friend is outside, seemingly trying to convince her to come for a ride with him. At one point she attempts to seek refuge in the kitchen, a room in the house that she and her family had occupied for three years, but it begins to be unrecognizable to her. "The kitchen looked like a place she had never seen before, some room she had run inside but which wasn’t good enough." The change intensifies during the climax of the story, when Connie runs back into the house after speaking again with Arnold Friend, hitting her leg on the table, with a roaring in her ear that amplifies as she picks up the telephone for help but can only scream into the receiver. Like the kitchen, the telephone, a device she has used for much of her life, has become unrecognizable to her. At the resolution of the story, when she walks outside to go with Arnold Friend, she is gazing in awe upon all this land that she had never seen before now that she had changed, because when she had looked upon it before she was naive and innocent, two of the qualities she used to possess that Arnold Friend, the "demonic lover", had taken away. In "The Red Convertible", after being a Prisoner of War and coming back home, Henry ’s entire personality changes. He has become quiet, barely stringing even six words together, and he never seems to sit still. He seems to occupy himself solely by sitting in front of the television, which is where he was when he once bit all the way through his lip without even noticing. This change is so negative and disturbing to his family that they consider admitting him to a mental health facility, but as Native Americans living on a reservation, they did not trust the mental health providers, his mother stating, "they just give them drugs." During the end of the story, at the bank of the Red River, even when it seems to his brother Lyman that Henry is acting like his old self again, laughing and playing about, he jumps into the river and kills himself, which proves that the change her underwent was irrevocable.
Sometimes changes can affect one so greatly that they will never be the same again. This is true of the dynamic characters, Connie and Henry, in the short stories, "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" and "The Red Convertible." During the introduction of these stories, both characters were more naive and innocent and, better off as a whole than they were after the change occurred, which had been induced by the catalysts of Arnold Friend and the Vietnam War. These literary works seem to reflect a universal truth about real life and provide a means for their audience to relate, as most people also go through life-changing events, which affect them so irrevocably that their lives will indeed never be the same again.
Prior to the changes, both characters are more naive and innocent about the world around them. During the introduction of "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?", Connie is portrayed as "fifteen and she had a quick nervous giggling habit of craning her neck to glance into mirrors." She also fights with her mother constantly and has begun to fool around with boys. Connie is a normal American girl on the brink of her adolescence. During the introduction of "The Red Convertible", Henry is also portrayed as naive and innocent. He buys a car with his brother, Lyman, and they go on a road-trip that lasts the entire summer. During the end of the road trip, when they are with Susy, a girl with whom they had been staying in Alaska after picking her up somewhere in the Midwest and driving her all the way home, Susy lets her long hair out and Henry puts her on his shoulders and spins her around, saying, "I always wondered what it was like to have long hair." Clearly, Henry is fun loving, carefree and spontaneous.
In both stories there is the presence of a catalyst, which induces the negative changes in the characters. In "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" the catalyst is the character of Arnold Friend, who drives his golden jalopy to Connie’s house one Sunday when her parents are not home to try and convince her to come for a ride with him. The character of Arnold Friend represents the "demonic lover", in that he has supernatural powers that make him irresistible to Connie. He is demonic in that he possesses the telepathic ability to view the activities of her family members at the barbeque they were attending at her aunt ’s house, along with the fact that his foot doesn’t fit properly into his boot, making it appear stuffed, which represents the cloven foot of the devil. For Henry, in "The Red Convertible", the catalyst is the Vietnam War. After Henry and Lyman come home from Alaska, Henry is called upon to serve in the Army, for which he had previously "signed up". Before long he is stationed in Vietnam where he soon becomes a Prisoner of War.
As a result of the change that was induced by the catalyst, both Connie and Henry’s lives are negatively and irrevocably affected. For Connie, the change starts to occur while Arnold Friend is outside, seemingly trying to convince her to come for a ride with him. At one point she attempts to seek refuge in the kitchen, a room in the house that she and her family had occupied for three years, but it begins to be unrecognizable to her. "The kitchen looked like a place she had never seen before, some room she had run inside but which wasn’t good enough." The change intensifies during the climax of the story, when Connie runs back into the house after speaking again with Arnold Friend, hitting her leg on the table, with a roaring in her ear that amplifies as she picks up the telephone for help but can only scream into the receiver. Like the kitchen, the telephone, a device she has used for much of her life, has become unrecognizable to her. At the resolution of the story, when she walks outside to go with Arnold Friend, she is gazing in awe upon all this land that she had never seen before now that she had changed, because when she had looked upon it before she was naive and innocent, two of the qualities she used to possess that Arnold Friend, the "demonic lover", had taken away. In "The Red Convertible", after being a Prisoner of War and coming back home, Henry ’s entire personality changes. He has become quiet, barely stringing even six words together, and he never seems to sit still. He seems to occupy himself solely by sitting in front of the television, which is where he was when he once bit all the way through his lip without even noticing. This change is so negative and disturbing to his family that they consider admitting him to a mental health facility, but as Native Americans living on a reservation, they did not trust the mental health providers, his mother stating, "they just give them drugs." During the end of the story, at the bank of the Red River, even when it seems to his brother Lyman that Henry is acting like his old self again, laughing and playing about, he jumps into the river and kills himself, which proves that the change her underwent was irrevocable.
Sometimes changes can affect one so greatly that they will never be the same again. This is true of the dynamic characters, Connie and Henry, in the short stories, "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" and "The Red Convertible." During the introduction of these stories, both characters were more naive and innocent and, better off as a whole than they were after the change occurred, which had been induced by the catalysts of Arnold Friend and the Vietnam War. These literary works seem to reflect a universal truth about real life and provide a means for their audience to relate, as most people also go through life-changing events, which affect them so irrevocably that their lives will indeed never be the same again.
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