A Web of Thoughts-Enmesh Yourself: March 2007

Monday, March 5, 2007

fill the void
with hollow sound
cut the noise
to higher ground
open black
below the mound
misery
all soul did shone
flailing new
the tangled limbs
four against
the monkey tin
and paling
proper print
grin
only me
within it lied

Sunday, March 4, 2007

out of reason
out of
touch
out of
reason
touch
sigh away
just sigh away
hhmph
sigh away
just
hhmph

fill the void
with hollow sound
cut the noise
to higher ground
open black
below the mound
misery
all soul did shone
flailing now
the tangled limbs
four against
the monkey tin
and paling of
proper print grin
only me
within it lied

can you live your life without me -Garbage

I want so desperately to read something worth it. Not some misogynistic poor American-in-France pseudo-writer's work with an introduction that argues that he really wasn't a misogynist, but rather was abused why women. The author of the introduction supports this claim with an excerpt from the text, in which Miller or his protagonist refers to a character that was more misogynistic than he was as a "foetus". If I'd used supporting details like that in my most recent English class, you can bet I still would have gotten an A. But still is where my mind can't sit. All around me are the dancing jeering flashes of the undone, once they were negative, as I came. And still, it bothers me so how she mocks him. Through swigs of Fosters, she mocks him. And if you confront her, she says you simply do not understand. Pity Pity. But I guess I'm getting better at it. At not expressing. Plastic tree chunk woman. Wouldn't they love you. If you were beautiful like them. And all the while. Drugs unspoken yet spoke above. Between girls of young in, not only public places, but their own places of employment. Once again, the world does not give a fuck. Once again, I feel shitty. Once again, I will not say. While the whole dilapidated skulduggeried earth rots its fucking green pasture exterior away. I used to believe in dates, in the power of time, but fortunately or unfortunately, my concept of time is something that I've lost. Or maybe I realized that it wasn't real, constructed, and through this realization, I just don't give a fuck. I hardly understand why I am so nervous. Unable to concentrate. Diagnose me with Adult ADHD and pop me full of Ritalin. Or better yet, Adder all. Percocets. Oxycontin. Cocaine. Gallons and gallons of cheap alcohol. And all else that is pain-numbing, reality-killing. All else that is a facade. The same name as that club in Nyack where the loose women and even looser men congregate to get off so that they can't get on the train of reality. I would like to obtain a copy of No Exit and reread it with my twenty-one year old mental prowess. haha. mental prowess. I just proved myself wrong, as I'm sure that is the incorrect usage of the that phrase. I'm sick of being paranoid. Of keeping myself up nights. Of Working the life out of myself and having to pretend that everything is o fucking kay. When it isn't. It isn't at all.

Books-May Contain Spoilers

Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk

Contemporary satirical master, Chuck Palahniuk, explores the ugly side of prettiness. She is a model who has everything including a boyfriend, a best friend and all the attention in the world. But everything changes when she is involved in a horrible "accident" that leaves her horribly disfigured and unable to speak. She travels through the U.S. and Canada with two companions, who find interesting ways to make a living along the way. Despite the fact that she is mute, Palahniuk speaks for her, revealing to the audience that her her lenses were not tinted rose at all, but merely shaded black.

Palahniuk exposes the dark side of the bright in this lovely little novel. He also both explores and questions the social expectations of gender. This is especially illustrated during one particular point in the novel, wherein the protagonist and her best friend are doing a photo shoot in a slaughterhouse while animal carcasses are dangling on chains around them
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

American Appetites, by Joyce Carol Oates

The nineteenth literary work of this acclaimed storyteller centers around the worst seemingly worst thing that could happen. It is upper-middle class suburbia in the 1980s for Ian and Glynnis McCullough, a middle aged well-respected couple of Hazelton-on-Hudson, the New York City suburb that they have resided in for fifteen years.

The McCulloughs are most certainly a family of prestige. Ian, a political scientist who has a fairly high ranking position in the institute, which revolves many around demographics. Glynnis, a housewife who is writing her third cook-book, and a social butterfly who hosts as many parties as she attends. Their daughter, Bianca a college freshman at a respected University in Connecticuit, who is involved in the performing arts. And the beautiful glass house in which they reside, designed by a prominent local architect. It is both furnished with impeccable taste, and cleaned regulary by their dark-skinned maid

One night the glass breaks. An argument leads to an injury that leads to a scandal. And it is up to a jury to either put the pieces of the McCulloughs lives back together or sweep them up and throw them away.

Initially I was rather intrigued with the book and rather quickly I became entagled in the plot and the fate of the McCulloughs. But after awhile I found it hard to sympathize with Ian because he simply would not defend himself for such a long period of time, but I suppose that was a strategic move on the part of Oates so that his faith would become renewed by Sigrid Hunt

Regaring the verdict, obviously I believe that it was just due to the fact that there were no elements of the crime and it was, indeed, an "accident." Besides, Glynnis deserved it in the first place due to the way in which she treated her daughter and her many extra-marital affairs. haha.

I respect Oates greatly due to the fact that she stocks her works chock-full of detail. But I believe it to be extranoues at times, such as some of the scenes with the various friends the McCulloughs had in this particular novel.

Still, the theme jumped out from the blank white space between the lines and hit me square in the face. It can be best summed up in the sociological theory of the looking-glass self: "I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Girl with a Pearl Earring, by Tracy Chevalier
Set is Delft, Holland, 1664. Griet is sixteen years old, chopping vegetables, and they come.

In this novel, Chevalier frames Vermeer's famous painting, "Girl with a Pearl Earring." This fictionalized account centers around Griet, whose father is disabled and unable to work, so she must support her family by working as a maid for the Vermeers. Her most arduous task is to clean the studio, in which everything must be left exactly in its place.

But as the children multiply, so do the eyes on Griet. And in the end she must make a choice that will change her life forever.

A Web of Thoughts

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Monday, March 5, 2007

Sunday, March 4, 2007

can you live your life without me -Garbage

Books-May Contain Spoilers

Delve

Hongkong.garden

Lynx